Saying Yes and Saying No

sermon by Carrie Eikler
Passionate Spirituality Sermon Series
Genesis 1 excerpts
Luke 18:18-22
Story for All Ages: Green Eggs and Ham

(This is the second sermon in our summer sermon series on Passionate Spirituality, inspired by the book Practicing our Faith by Dorothy Bass. Accompanying each sermon is a "Story for All Ages" where we will read a Dr. Suess story that ties with the theme. Shorter sermons lead into greater time of congregational reflection, which are posted below the sermon)

At some point in our lives who has not felt like either Sam-I-am or Grumpy Man (as referred to in our home)? Big questions and big responsibilities come our way and we are either saying no-no-no or encouraging someone else to say yes-yes-yes. Forgive me for an alternate comparison, but often in my life I’m not so much on a Green-eggs-and-ham conundrum, but more the conundrum posed by one of the original British punk rock bands…The Clash. (Yes, I confess. One of your pastors is a fan of British punk). In one of their most popular songs The Clash asked the question “Should I stay or should I go?” followed with an answer “If I stay there will be trouble, if I go there will be double.”

Should I say yes or should I say no? Should I accept or should I decline? Should I add another responsibility or should I let go of a commitment?

I know that many of you struggle with this, because when we surveyed the congregation on which spiritual practices you were most interested in exploring, “saying yes and saying no” was at the top of the list…along with prayer and forgiveness I might add. I have a feeling many of us in our lives have said yes to so many things, that we are looking for permission to say no. I have a feeling that many of us are looking at ways to clear the decks, to begin rebuilding our lives with just those things that are really important--hose things that fill us, that energize us.

Saying yes and saying no to the demands that come our way may not seem like a traditional spiritual practice. But as we talk about passionate spirituality for the next seven weeks, I think we’ll soon realize that each step towards God will be a process of saying yes to making space for God and saying no to those things that crowd God out.

In the words of M. Shawn Copeland, a Catholic laywoman, “If we are to enhance and build up the capacities for a good, wholesome, and holy life, we must learn to say yes to what affirms and renews wholeness and life. And we must learn to say a related no to what induces and brings about destruction and ruin.”[1]

Deep and passionate spirituality is a constant dance of accepting and declining dance partners, weighing and evaluating the music that guides us, and refining and improving our steps. When we learn the deeply difficult and deeply blessed discipline of making space for God to dwell deeply in us, the steps may seem a bit more fluid, more true to who we are, more graceful as we dance in and through this life.
But then, life is a constant balance of yeses and no’s, isn’t it? When you wake up in the morning and get out of bed, you are saying “yes” to meeting the day. When you go to work or school you are essentially saying “yes” to the life of occupation or study. When you eat food you are saying yes to nourishment and essentially saying yes to life.

You could stay in bed, you could stay home from work or school (although if you’re in school, you might have to do a bit of work to convince your parents), you could say no to eating healthy food and no to nourishing your body. Those no’s have consequences. But essentially, your actions are responses to life’s questions an affirmative or negative answer. Each moment you live is a balance, often an unconscious one, of saying yes and no.

But this is not to make it seem like saying no is a bad thing. In fact many times by saying “no” we are opening up space in our lives for God, especially when we say no to things that clutter our spirits and depress our energy, those things that leave us feeling exhausted rather than passionate. Yeses and no’s often exist as “companions in the process of a whole and holy life.”

Perhaps our Brethren and Mennonite ancestors were best known for their “no’s” in life: no to material trappings, no to violence, no to creeds. But it would be shortsighted for us to think this was simply a way of negativity, preferring to embrace all that is harsh and grim and rejecting life’s pleasures.
What if we took to heart our ancestors’ wisdom: that by saying “no” to materialism allows us to say “yes” to the simple abundance of God’s creation. No to violence and war and oppression means yes to affirming life for everyone, yes to peace for all God’s children. No to creedal doctrine and dogmas means yes to an openness in the spirit in which we all can live by God’s work through the living Gospel.

And that living Gospel and the story of Jesus is filled with people seeking balance and the faithful rhythm to their dance of life… Jesus encountered a rich ruler. This man wanted affirmation that all he was doing was exactly what was needed, that there was plenty of space for God in his life since he was doing all the right things. But for this man, Jesus pointed out, one thing kept him from God: his money. We are to assume that since he was rich, he likely said yes to many things that kept him at a distance from God: perhaps exploitation of his work force, perhaps valuing luxury over charity. Jesus said if you want to join me in this dance, you’ve got to say no to those things and if that can only happen by giving away your money, by reconciling and readdressing financial wrongdoings, then isn’t it worth it?

But it wasn’t just about saying no, saying “sell everything you have and renounce your wealth.” It was about picking up a yes in its place. Sell what you have and give it away, take action. Simply saying no isn’t good enough. Letting go of all your commitments and saying no to every request that comes your way won’t necessarily bring you closer to God. It must be bound up with a positive, even if that positive is protecting that extra space you’ve made (by giving up a habit or responsibility) space to continue discerning God’s work in your life.

And God’s work had its limits, too. Saying yes also means knowing when enough is enough, when to say no more is needed. God created earth, sky, wind, light, dark, water, life…and God knew when to rest. When to call it good.

If we were in charge of re-creating this earth, and in many ways I believe that we are, it is likely that our pride would get in the way don’t you think? We might say, “Well if I don’t do this or that then who is going to do it?” or “If I stay up just two more hours I can perfect this world.” God didn’t call it quits, God simply called it good…enough…that’s enough. God said yes, I can rest. And so can we.

Living a life in which we can faithfully and confidently say yes and no is a life long project. It is a spiritual practice, something to work with, something to engage our relationship with God, and help us see more clearly the priorities in our lives. M Shawn Copeland wisely understands this practice as one in which “we are invited and challenged to make a fully conscious choice about what it is we are…
and who it is we shall become.” May we each find the strength and grace to do so.

And now, may the conversation continue…. You have each been given a sheet of reflection questions and I invite you to gather in groups of two or three and each take time to reflect on one of the questions that jumps out at you. You don’t have to all reflect on the same questions, just share as the spirit leads. Let each person have about 3 minutes to share…

(Guiding questions in bulletin)

1. Think of one commitment you have in your lifeWhy did you say “yes” to this commitment?
Does it help you encounter God, or does it crowd out God?
If it crowds out God, is it possible that there are ways to encounter God within it? If not, what would happen if you let go of the commitment?
If you encounter God within it, how do you feel it enriches your life?

2. What are you currently saying “yes” to that feels like it crowds God out (a habit, responsibility, decision, or life choice)?
What might happen if you said “not” to it, and let go?

3. What are you currently saying “no” to that may enhance your life and relationship with God (a habit, responsibility, decision, or life choice)?
If you choose to say “yes” to it, what needs to happen to make space for it to enhance your life?

4. What has this worship on “Saying Yes and Saying No” brought up for you in your mind and heart?

[1] “Saying Yes and Saying No” by M Shawn Copeland in Practicing our Faith edited by Dorothy Bass (Jossey Bass, San Francsico, 1997).