Sunday, February 2, 2014

Baby Steps to Blessings

sermon by Torin Eikler
Micah 6:1-8     Matthew 5:1-12



Over the course of our Christmas holidays, I got the chance to watch “As Good as it Gets” for the third time.  I remember thinking that it was a good movie when it first came out several years ago, and as is often the case with good movies, each time that I see it, I find new things to appreciate and enjoy it even more.

The world of “As Good as it Gets” is populated by many fantastic and memorable characters, including one very irascible dog, but the two main characters are the most fascinating of all.  Melvin is a very successful author who suffers from a pretty extreme case of obsessive compulsive disorder and spend most of his time living as a recluse in his well-organized apartment.  Carol is a waitress at the café where Melvin habitually goes for breakfast – the only waitress who knows his exacting needs and is willing to serve him despite his rudeness.

The movie really picks up steam when Carol’s son gets sick, and she has to take off from work in order to stay with him in the hospital.  The disturbance this causes in Melvin’s life is (as you might expect) too much for him to handle.  It proves to be enough of an inconvenience that Melvin takes a big step out of his comfort zone and actually goes to the hospital to convince Carol that she needs to come back to work.

She refuses, as most mothers would, and Melvin is forced to take more extreme action.  He calls up a doctor friend and shows up at Carol’s home to take care of the problem.  Carol is skeptically grateful, thinking that Melvin is trying to manipulate her into an illicit liaison which is the farthest thing from his mind … at least until she mentions it.

 
From there, the story of their relationship takes many twists and turns, and the two eventually fall in love with each other.  But Carol just can’t get past all the strange and controlling behavior that is part and parcel of Melvin’s OCD.  Melvin, for his part, makes a huge effort to break the chains of his illness, but it proves to be too much for him to tackle all at once.

Carol gives up, saying in exasperation that she just wants a normal boyfriend, and normal is clearly just not an option for Melvin.  There is just too much to overcome … too many quirks for her to accept and adjust to … too many changes that need to be made for things to work.  The whole relationship is just too hard to manage, and she is not sure that it’s worth it to take the plunge into such a mess.

 
To me, Micah message seems like a similar challenge.  I know that these words are a comforting … to some people, and as Cindy has told us, they have formed the mission statement of at least one church.  I completely understand the sense of comfort that a short, clear list of theological virtues to pursue, but I find it difficult to fully embrace that mission because it is just too … big … for me.

It’s not that it’s vague … anything but.  The words are quite clear: “Do justice, love kindness, and walk humbly.”  My studies have even helped me understand what those words probably meant to Micah and the people he spoke to.  What’s hard for me is the all-encompassing nature of the challenge.

Doing justice is easy to say, but it is much harder to do.  There are so many different ways that we understand justice, and they often take us in opposite ways.  And if we reach for a deeper meaning then we have to drive into uncertainty.  We can’t grasp the perspective we would need to know God’s justice for certain.  And the only way to move forward is to pay attention to each situation because God’s justice seems to emerge from conversations and a deeper understanding of each person’s experiences.

Loving Kindness isn’t any easier for me.  The “kindness” Micah is talking about is the Hebrew concept “chesed.”  It is a complex idea that speaks of covenant and the mutual obligations of partners.  It’s about trust – trust that our partners will honor our interests just as we honor theirs.  It’s about being ready to treat the well-being of others as a higher value than our own vindication, and that means making ourselves vulnerable.

But the last words are easily the most difficult for me. Walking humbly is not one of my fortes.  I don’t do humility all that well, as you probably have noticed.  I like to feel like I know what I’m doing and what I’m talking about, and that makes it hard to admit that I can be wrong.  I’m getting better at it, but it’s still one of my biggest spiritual struggles.

Each one of these is hard enough … especially since Micah implies that we should be doing them all the time.  When you put all three together, it seems like an impossible leap from where I am now, … and I don’t do well with the impossible either.  As I said, it’s just too big to take all at once, and I begin to despair.

 
At times like that – times when I dwell on the difficulty for too long – I need something smaller … something more definite … something that I can actually get done … or at least make concrete progress on.  When I feel that way, find myself turning to Jesus’ teachings in the Sermon on the Mount.  The beatitudes, in particular provide me some comfort.  They are not exactly smaller … not exactly easier to live up to, but they are more limited in scope and they are easier for me to embrace.

Some of them, I don’t really understand.  What does it mean to be poor in spirit, for example?  How does one “hunger and thirst for righteousness?” When do we find ourselves being persecuted for righteousness’ sake … reviled and persecuted on Jesus’ account?

Others come more naturally.  I understand what it means to be peacemaker.  I have experienced mourning.  I know mercy and meekness even if I struggle to embody them many times.  These are things that I can take hold of … goals that I can work toward … and actually accomplish from time to time.

 
What I really like, though, is not that these tasks are more limited in scope or that I feel like I can get something done.  No, what gives me hope and gets me moving again is that these challenges are not absolute.  I don’t have to do them all … and I don’t have to do them perfectly. 

If I make peace when I’m able, I am a peacemaker.  If I show mercy instead of ruthlessness, then I am merciful (at least for those moments).  If I find myself remembering loved ones with longing or aching for the loss of humanity’s soul, then I am mourning.  And if I am led to a place of stillness where I can let go of my pride in the face of others’ need to be the best, then I have been given the gift of meekness.

In all of these ways … in each of those moments, I succeed.  In bigger or smaller ways I succeed in living out the ideals of Jesus’ teaching.  I don’t need to make one huge leap into the fullness of life in Christ.  I can take smaller steps … little hops … maybe even a jump or two from time to time. 

 
When I first saw Melvin all those years ago, I felt sorry for him.  He was trapped in a world where he felt uncertain, even threatened … nearly all the time.  Then he found himself in love, and his struggles only got worse.  He simply couldn’t be the normal guy that Carol wanted.  It was touching and sad, and uplifting in the end, and I walked away from the movie feeling hope and relief.  Hope because in the end, when Carol decides to give it one last try, Melvin pushes himself to take a few small steps across cracks in the sidewalk in order to walk next to her.  Relief that I was nothing like him.

I’m not sure about that last thought anymore.  As I have watched the movie more recently, I have come to find an affinity for the poor man on the screen.  He is an extreme case, of course, and I hope that I will never find myself in that position.  Yet, I do see parallels in my own life – places where I am just as trapped in habits or compulsions that keep me from being the man I want to be – times when I despair of ever reaching a truer, fuller relationship with God or with the people I love because of my own faults and weaknesses. 

Maybe I’m not so different from Melvin in the end.  Maybe none of us are when we get right down to the bottom of it, but that doesn’t mean that we are lost and without hope.  Melvin found his way out of the tangled mess that bound him, but he didn’t do it all at once.  He didn’t … he couldn’t take it all in one big leap.  He had to take one little step at a time … one baby step after another toward a more normal life.

We don’t have to get it all right at once either.  There is a big, beautiful promise out there for us – a big picture in which justice and mercy kiss and righteousness flows like a mighty river – a new world in which we all (and we, each one) do justice, love kindness, and walk humbly with our God.  And we can get there … we will get there, not in one big leap but through baby steps … through small moments of choosing peace and mercy and meekness and righteousness … moments that change everything and uncover blessings to encourage and strengthen us along the way

 
Hold onto to that promise.  Grab hold of the big picture of a world and a people reborn.  But work at the small things.

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