Passionate Spirituality – Born of Forgiveness

sermon by Torin Eikler
Hosea11:1-11 Luke 15:11-32
Fifth Sunday in Passionate Spirituality Series

One of the places that our family tends to frequent in town is Black Bear Burritos. It’s not just their policy that children eat free until they are six years old – though that certainly doesn’t hurt. Or that their food is pretty good, and they have relatively “green” practices for a restaurant. I think what draws us back there is their friendly, welcoming, and low-key atmosphere. (Frankly speaking … it just helps a lot to know that your kids can make a bit of noise and a bit of a mess and you still get a smile and a warm greeting when you are recognized at the counter.) And, there is usually family-friendly music starting at 6:30 – which serves as a great distraction for a three-year-old boy who only eats a few bites and doesn’t like to sit at the table while we finish our meals.

More often than not, we have found ourselves enjoying the performance of one particular duo – The Weedhawks, and Sebastian enjoys their music enough that we bought a CD to listen to (as a welcome addition to the other three we hear all the time). Over time one particular song on the CD has risen to the top of Sebastian’s favorites list. It’s called “ ,” and it tells the story of the relationship between a man and his truck-driver father. It’s a fun song with a nice beat and a catchy refrain, and I think that (as well as its position at the beginning of the CD) is what has Sebastian hooked. But, it tells a sad story of brokenness, pride, and stubbornness.

One verse in particular catches my attention almost every time we listen.
He called out on his death bed to make amends with me,
But there’re too many memories I can’t hide.
So I put it off and I put it off … for over a year.
And that’s when my daddy died ….
I’m not sure what gets to me about these words. Part of it is that it expresses so much pain – pain from the mistakes that his father made while he was alive and pain that he feels at not having reconciled the relationship before his father died. But there is more to it than that.

Each time that I hear that song, I start to feel a little bit trapped, and lately I find myself thinking of broken relationships in my own life – particularly the ones where I still hold on to my anger at what people have done to me. There is something there that needs to be explored. And, I am reminded of something said in a conversation that I had with a remarkable woman I have met a few times across the years – Diana Ortiz.


In the 80s, Diana went to Guatemala as a young nun to work with the poor, indigenous people. It was a time of upheaval in the country with kidnappings and political killings on the part of the government and the guerrilla Guatemalan National Revolutionary Union. In 1989, Diana herself disappeared. Some time later, she managed to escape by jumping out of a vehicle that had taken her out of the prison where she had been held, and a nearby woman took her in until she could get in touch with her order and eventually return to the United States.

During her time in the prison, Diana was repeatedly raped and tortured with dogs, rats, and burning cigarettes. She was forced to participate in the torture of others and even made to kill another prisoner - all on video tape. For years, Diana lived at a community in Chicago under a constant suicide watch while she worked with the Kovlar Center for Survivors of Torture in the hope of recovering from her ordeal.

While all the work she did was an important part of her recovery, what she told me was that, “it wasn’t until she was able to come to terms with what was done to her and find it in [herself] to forgive them that she finally felt free of their hold on [her.]” It gave here a sense of rebirth and resurrection, and while the memories of that time still haunt her, she is finally able to move forward with her new life.

(light candle in the middle of dancing trinity statue)

I’m definitely not putting the little slights that I have experienced or the relationship between the truck driver and his son on par with the horrors that Sr. Diana experienced in Guatemala. Yet, her words hold a truth that has power across all of our broken places. They get at the heart of the feeling of being trapped that comes when I hear that last verse – the same feeling that rises up in me whenever I think of running into those people who have hurt me in the past. And, they get at the heart of the freedom that lies in forgiveness because until I – until we can find a way to forgive those who have hurt us we are trapped in the emotions of those painful moments. A part of our selves and our lives is held back, and all of our relationships are affected by the distrust, the fear, and the bitterness we carry with us. We can only really move forward when forgiveness frees us from the power of the past.


Forgiveness is, of course, about finding reconciliation. And it is nice for all of us when someone else asks for forgiveness. It makes it easier to let go of the pain we feel when we know that the other person feels regret or remorse for what has been done. Often, once that happens we are almost eager to let the past be the past and rebuild our relationships.

But even then, it is important to pay attention to the process – to take care that we follow the steps of the dance of forgiveness. There are many steps that can make up that dance. L. Gregory Jones lists six in his chapter of forgiveness in Practicing Our Faith, and though each of us must find the steps that work for us, they are a good place to start. They are (and you can follow along on your inserts if you like) …
- Become willing to speak truthfully and patiently about the conflict(s) that have arisen.

- Acknowledge both the existence of anger and bitterness and a desire to overcome them.

- Summon up a concern for the well-being of the other as a child of God.

- Recognize our own complicity in conflict, remembering that we have been forgiven in the past, and repenting of our own mistakes as necessary.

- Make a commitment to struggle with changing anything that we do to cause and/or perpetuate our conflict(s).

- Confess our yearning for the possibility of reconciliation both to ourselves and to others involved.

This list reminds us that forgiveness, as a practice born out of passionate spirituality is more complicated that we often want to make it. They also underline the fact that (and this is something that many of us may not realize or often forget) forgiveness is ultimately a practice that happens within us as we, each dancing to our own tune, release the anger and the bitterness that hold us back and open up to the promise of wholeness and peace. And, it can be granted without the cooperation or the knowledge of the other person. It can even be granted against their wishes. It is a radical act of love and grace that has the power to draw us and those whose lives we touch closer to the Realm of God.

Our scriptures speak of this truth in many places. Paul proclaims it when he says that “while we were yet sinners and didn’t know Christ,” he forgave us and opened the way to new life for us all. The father in the parable models it, forgiving the prodigal son while he was still far away and welcoming the one “who was dead” into a renewal of life. Jesus, himself, shows us the way when he prays on the cross, “Father, forgive them for they know not what they do.”

Forgiveness is about finding reconciliation, and it is more deeply about finding freedom. It frees us to love people in spite of themselves. It opens the way to put aside our grievances against our brothers and sisters, our neighbors and friends, our enemies and those who persecute us and to embrace them as cherished, if imperfect, children of God. It offers the chance not only to put away the Big-Boy Boomeroos we hold at the ready and step down from the wall – but to tear down the wall itself and dance with one another among the rubble.

Forgiveness frees us from the hatred and bitterness that can consume our lives, turning us into twisted, vengeful people, and it frees us to embrace love and compassion for all of God’s children – a love and compassion that transforms us into the children of light following the Prince of peace. And though it is difficult work that requires us to risk being vulnerable enough to offer words, gestures, and actions that change the patterns of brokenness for just the chance of reconciliation, it is holy work given to us by God. What’s more, it is easier to do when we have the support from others seeking to embody the same practices – a gift and a blessing that we can see if we just look around us this morning.

And so, I invite you all to look around you now. Get together with one or two other brothers or sisters and find a space a little bit apart from other groups (this may mean that some of us need to get up and move). As you sit together for the next several minutes, I encourage you to share your thoughts and experiences with forgiveness with each other, be they stories of struggle or success, frustration or hope, freedom or on-going captivity. There are some leading questions to start you off on the insert in your bulletin. When the time comes, I will gather us together again for our closing hymn.